A Kiss is Not a Contract. This, However, Is.

“As far as I’m concerned,” she said, “you don’t have a boyfriend.” I laughed because that’s all I could think to do. I couldn’t agree since I technically do have a boyfriend but I couldn’t disagree since we’re not really doing much together these days. So I laughed.

“Besides,” she continued, laying down Scrabble pieces, “he’s not good enough for you, anyway.”
“Now that’s not fair,” I protested. “He’s a fine person! Intelligent, attractive, well-paid. Anyway, what if we end up married? You’d have to come to our wedding and cast your mind back on the time you said he wasn’t good enough for me.”

There was a long silence as we calculated the most recent word score. “Eightteen?”

“Do you intend to marry him?” she asked. A good question, I know.
“Early days, man! Six months is not long enough to know anything about a person.”
“You are the slowest fast dater I’ve ever met.”

She’s right though. I go through boys like they were socks which can lead to some distress and general ‘hanging on longer than entirely necessary’. Yet at the same time I don’t force the issue. I give myself at least six months to be single after the conclusion of a relationship. I have as many dates as possible in that time eventually narrowing my scope to a boy that I actually want as my boyfriend. There is then a period of time, no shorter than six months, where we’re dating exclusively. Anytime thereafter either of us is allowed to approach the subject of SigOt Status.

During negotiations for SigOt Status (SOS, lol), I set my ground rules* and open the floor for additional ground rules to be discussed. We discuss whether it is entirely necessary to announce it via facebook and twitter or just do what normal people do and start showing up together at our friends’ functions. We indicate the importance of our friends to us and whether the SigOt should be prepared to spend time with them. Family importance is revealed and whether you should start advanced technical manuevers before meeting them.

Only upon completion of these steps are we required to introduce one another as “my boyfriend/girlfriend” or “my friend” if you’re around church ladies or your mother’s bridge club.

Sign and date. Pun intended.

* My Ground Rules, should you be wondering.
1. We will not move in together.
2. We will not purchase or adopt anything jointly.
3. We will have open communication.
4. We will respect one another.

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