“Could you… repeat that… or something?” said the Emo King as he stared in shock at the young boy sitting in his room.

“I am a Pantheistic Solopsist” he said again. He had apparently come up with his own theory. This boy was beaming (not that I was there to see this, but I am sure that if I were using big words amidst a large group of college students, I too would be beaming) delighting in the puzzled looks he was getting from these college boys.

“You do realize the ramifications of this statement,” said the Emo King after a notable period of head-shaking and tongue clicking. The boy said that yes he did but offered precious little to prove that this was indeed the case. Let’s outline this shall we?

Solipsism: The idea that one can only be certain of their own existance.

Pantheism: The idea that there is a bit of god in everyone.

This would mean that you have a little bit of god in you. However, you are also possibly the only thing alive. Therefore, you would be considered God.

Um… yea. Not so great an idea altogether, is it?

Sincerely, Pokey


  1. DrDrew · November 17, 2004

    Pantheistic Solopsism works for me.  But then again, I’m used to being a god.

  2. fibermom · November 17, 2004

    Now, one possibility is that the kid doesn’t have a dictionary. But another is that he likes the way the words feel when he says them. Try it: “Pan-theis-tic So-lop-sism” It’s sort of like a Salute to the Sun yoga routine for the mouth. Or he’s a smart-aleck. If none of the above, he should seek counseling and you should avoid him.

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