“Hello, welcome to the Friend Zone. I am the mayor. Allow me to show you around…”

Friend Zone? This is new. What, exactly, is the Friend Zone you may ask. The Friend Zone is a term coined by The New Hotness, The Emo King, The Polar Bear and various other guys whom I will affectionately call Those Boys Downstairs. According to Those Boys Downstairs, the Friend Zone is where you often find yourself when dealing with members of the opposite sex.

Here is a possible scenario: Boy meets girl. Boy and girl seem to hit it off. Boy and girl start hanging out together a lot and girl begins to really open up about her problems to boy. Boy starts to think there might be potential for a relationship. Girl tells boy about this other Boy that she really likes and thinks is Oh So Hot. Welcome to the Friend Zone.

In and of itself, this is not so bad a thing. It never hurt anyone to have some friends. It is apparently the repeated journey and subsquent residence in the Zone that will drive you mad.

I love Those Boys Downstairs with affection unspeakable (we probably spend way too much time with each other), but I find that the frequency with which they find themselves in the Friend Zone to be a little startling. I think something about it might be in thier heads a little. Reading too much into words, setting up Friend Zone signs way before necessary and maybe even anticipating the Zone so much at the onset that they scare the Girl off.

But who am I to talk? I’m fine with being in the Friend Zone.

Sincerely, Pokey


  1. fibermom · November 13, 2004

    I think the problem is with starting out thinking “Oooh, this girl is cute, will she be my girlfriend?” so that they then have to back up to the Friend Zone. Friends first, and then that one special friendship ripening into Something More — doesn’t that sound better?
    The Boys Downstairs may not agree with me on this. Nor the Girls Upstairs, for all I know. In fact, I totally sound like somebody’s mom, don’t I?

  2. dodsonj · November 14, 2004

    As mayor, CEO, and general manager of the Friend Zone let me take this time to clear up any misconceptions about said location. The friend zone is in no way voluntary. We (some fellows) are ushered in unawares of what awaits us. It is filled with ex-boyfriend stories and anchanted Goblins that scream out in horrow at the idea that you may actually want to date that girl. It’s a nasty place, who would ever want to be there.

  3. DistantEyes · November 15, 2004

    Hey, I took a brief trip to the Friend Zone lately and I’m not a boy, nor do I live downstairs.

  4. DistantEyes · November 15, 2004

    Granted, like you said, it’s the prolonged stay that really gets ya.

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