Toby is a dog with an unfortunate case of the Napoleon Complex. He is small dog that looks like a Dachshund with terribly long hair and coloring like a Golden Retriever (which means our dogs happen to be color coordinated), however, he is a dog of very little brain.
Now when our dogs are not prancing about in their matching ermine outfits, they are whining over the lack of attention we rain on them or trying to find ways to show how generously they love us and for Toby that means gifts.
Of course Toby, being of the canine persuasion, is working on a terribly limited budget and so he resorts to the cheapest forms of gift giving, namely stealing. Well, not stealing I suppose, but picking things up at random and placing them at your feet. His favorite gift to give us is the Gift of the Amphibian.
This silly dog of mine has brought frogs and toads into the house for us to enjoy with him. The numerous screams and shouts of “How did that thing get in here” seem to be equivalent to excited barking in his mind and this pleases him.
When I first discovered that Toby was fond of frogs I hadn’t the faintest idea how he got them in the house. Well, I have discovered his maneuver. The maneuver that would go something like this if I my dog had the ability to think:
“Ah the air is so froggy smelling… oh I see it. I see you frog!!!!!!!!!!! I am coooooommmming to get you. I will trounce you and scoop you up in my mouth and drag you kicking and screaming to the front door where my family will look and say what a sweet gesture and give me pets and food stuffs and cook you and give you to me…”
This is followed by much pouncing and falling and generally silly actions until finally he corners the amphibious critter and scoops it, he never bites it, but scoops it into his mouth. Yea. Gently, like he’s holding a grenade, he trots up to the door and hangs about with the frog kicking him in the snoot until someone comes to tell him he’s a good boy but “you had better drop that thing if you want to come back in this house.”