My second point (which is the fourth point in my previous list) is about women and beauty. When women are young girls we get our way by being cute, yea? You know the way. Your most recent plan has been trounced by one parent so you run to the other and pout.


Then we become too old to climb in laps. Also, we are too bratty to be considered cute most of the time. So… in essence… we have suddenly lost all cuteness points. What! Suddenly, we are not always getting what we want? We have to do things for ourselves?


“Fine,” we think. “Very well. I’ll become a brat thanks to the undue stress of making my own way in life. And you can’t be mad at me because you brought this on yourself. Making me do things to ‘pull my weight around the house.’ Psh. Jerks. This is Tsarist Russia and you expect me to be nice!”


Yeah. You guessed it! We’ve reached that plague era known as puberty. We’ve seen the beautiful, skinny, happy and flawless women in Vogue, Style and Cosmo and it would appear that this is the norm. We look at ourselves and can’t help but see every tiny imperfection. As a result we go to unimaginable lengths to be prettier and more acceptable as a “normal” woman. Naturally, what you’d really need to be like these models is their photo editor who is a master with an airbrush.


Not that I’m bitter. Not that I have any right to be bitter. Moving on.


Some of us spend hours daily getting super pretty to go to school (I feel that these are hardcore weirdos). While others really only bother on special occasions, say parties and weddings or something. Regardless of our preening time, boys and girls begin to notice one another and try their hand at this dating thing. Fabulous girls and fabulous guys…. Well. They aren’t really all that fabulous yet, are they? However, they can dress like Tom Cruise! That’s big points for him.


In due time, every girl will find guys who will be willing to help them, chill with them, talk with them and date them. In due time, every girl will feel the increasing pressure to look “normal” but will rarely be able to understand where this feeling comes from. Naturally, in due time, they will all realize on some level that it is the cuteness/beauty that gets them what they want and, since they are wanting increasingly bigger favors, will respond by becoming increasingly more beautiful. Ah. The pressure to become more beautiful.


Then of course you find that college guy. You get along well and he’s so handsome (men are never cute, ladies. Cute is for puppies). Somewhere along the way to college many guys have realized that super cute can be annoying, so if your tried and true method is “brainless sector of the weaker sex” you may find that half the time the relationship will fall like a flan in a cupboard. No. Males that have not only graduated high school intellectually, but also mentally, spiritually and physically (NOT in a sexual way, thank you) will not be terribly attracted to this cutesy routine. So we kick it up a notch. We become intellectuals and think for ourselves! We have opinions and we are not afraid to voice them! This can be terribly attractive provided we keep the natural pecking order in mind. Guys protect the girls. Not vice versa. It’s the way we are created. No helping that.


So we find that perfect balance between Queen Elizabeth and Marilyn Monroe. Cute enough to be endearing but smart enough to fight our own battles when needed. We do not embarrass the guy we are dating and we do not try to be one of the guys. We live complicated lives in little dorm rooms and are just busy enough to provide a little bit of a challenge to the guys (again, it’s the way they were created. See. Hunt. Kill. Ugh.). Splendid! Ladies, we have unwittingly invented a maneuver called “Getting What You Want because You‘re Cute: The Advanced Method… and Wearing Heels While We’re at It… and Fantastic Makeup.”


Or something a little more succinct. Whatever you prefer.

4 thoughts on “

  1. GreenDespair says:

    This part…”Somewhere along the way to college many guys have realized that super cute can be annoying, so if your tried and true method is “brainless sector of the weaker sex” you may find that half the time the relationship will fall like a flan in a cupboard. No. Males that have not only graduated high school intellectually, but also mentally, spiritually and physically (NOT in a sexual way, thank you) will not be terribly attracted to this cutesy routine. So we kick it up a notch. We become intellectuals and think for ourselves! We have opinions and we are not afraid to voice them! This can be terribly attractive provided we keep the natural pecking order in mind. Guys protect the girls. Not vice versa. It’s the way we are created. No helping that.”…not Chad.

    Like

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