The party last night was a success even though we didn’t actually manage to carve any pumpkins. And now that I think about it, we also didn’t dip any caramel apples. Mostly we sat around and talked which I’m told is an old person sort of thing to do. Personally, I feel that if your whole goal with a party is to wake up the next morning feeling like someone has stomped on your head then I don’t really want to go to a party with you.

So there.

We had a beautiful antipasto as well as more Funny Bones, hot apple cider, and various other little snack foods. One of the guests has convinced herself that protein isn’t something that the body really needs. Nor butter, nor milk, nor any type of fat or sugar. It really made me wonder what she manages to eat. Water, I know, and fermented tea, but other than that I do not know what goes into that tiny little body of hers.

No matter what people may say about my “unnecessarily healthy” eating habits I do not hold a candle to all the many people I know or have dated that have strange eating habits. My last boyfriend ate almost nothing but pasta and wine, my current boyfriend is a strictly organic superfood eater, one friend eats nothing but microwave steamable frozen veggies and frozen shrimp, this girl eats nothing apparently, and I can’t tell you how many people I know who have cut veggies out of the equation entirely.

At least I’m 1) into normal eating and 2) not insanely insistent on my own system.

Normal eating, by the way, is eating a wide variety of things. You eat what you want, when you want, and eat until you’re full. You choose new things because they will be interesting. You eat what is locally available for the season. You eat some lean protein.

By not being insanely insistent I of course mean that I will go with the etiquette flow. I’ll eat my way if it’s possible, but if I’ve been asked over for dinner at someone’s house I will not force them to do it my way. If a friend’s birthday celebration is at a restaurant, I won’t sullenly refuse to eat because it’s not made in a healthy way. This additionally saves me from having this conversation:

“Oh, Pokey, are you not eating anything?”
“No, I’ve already eaten, thank you, though.”
“Ah. Dietary needs?”
“No, just I don’t eat things like this.”

The Captain Subtext translation looks like this:

“You’re being a little rude, not eating.”
“I know. I went outside the rules of etiquette and already ate even though this is a dinner party.”
“I hope this is a medically mandated thing.”
“Nope, I just think you’re an unhealthy cow.”

I prefer my way, clearly.


  1. fibermom · October 31, 2009

    It’s more complex now, though. Used to be you had to consider vegetarians and religious rules. Now you have to consider gluten, carbs, glycemic index, vegans, no-dairy, tree nut allergies, peanut allergies,inflammation levels, organic, and fair trade. I bet I’ve left something out, too.

  2. sighkey · November 2, 2009

    @fibermom – I must be bad – I don’t think about any of those things at all. Are we supposed to?

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