I woke up this morning remembering that I had to get my apartment party ready today. So I threw together some breakfast and set about getting the place in order. By ‘threw together some breakfast’ I mean “tried to make an omelette in a large skillet and ended up with an egg pancake surrounding lots of melty cheese.” Not a bad way to go if you’ve gotta go.
By “party ready”, I mean an entirely different clean.
My usual clean includes a contact case on the bathroom counter and clean but unfolded laundry wandering about the place. It’s tidy with the exception of things I usually use. Clean with the exception of a few dirty dishes.
Yet another important part of ‘party ready’ is the medicine cabinet. A startling number of people will peer into your medicine cabinet, feel, because it’s part of our human nature. Things that are guarded seem more interesting. That’s why we listen to hushed conversations, why we want to read the banned books, and where we get our tendency to gossip.
So a closed medicine cabinet, regardless of how mundane, will seem extremely interesting and somehow worthy of our best snooping efforts. Therefore it is wildly important to remove all traces of embarrassing things, just in case. The bottles of prescription mouth wash, half-used tubes of generic potions that you’ve not touched in ten years, and that strangely dirty cup back there all have to go.
Or you can booby trap the cabinet. Marbles perched on the shelves or one of those musical cards that screams for Halloween.
That would put a rest to snooping.
I vote for the screaming card. Or perhaps treatments for really weird things. Quinine water for malaria, you know, or a large bottle of vitamin K.