Have I ever told you how much I love spies? Spies and pirates, pirates and spies. Not so much ninjas, and I’ve decided that I know why.

Isn’t it nice know why you love something?

First, let’s start with the reasons that I Love Spies.

1. Spies are, first and foremost, inner core and outer persona. The thing I love most about spies is that they have little secret lives. I’m not huge on serious secrets, myself, but the idea that there is something inside that is purely their own is wonderful. Their outer persona change with the mission, but they will always be one thing on the inside. I like the idea of being many things to many people, as long as you know who you are inside.

That’s why my dress shirts are lined with flower prints and velvet piping. Why my office slacks are lined with animal print, polka dots, and little zebras. Probably also why my Kindle is in a black leather case but covered with a pink skin.

2. They are the Back Office Staff of the World. They are working, in all the things I watch/read, for good. They work quietly and diligently to keep things together and protected and normal in the world. They are vital to the smooth running of everyday matters in ways that we aren’t even aware.

I love doing that vital, quiet work. I would rather be vital to a project’s success and unknown than a mere face with no importance. Being a face is good, too, but if I had to choose one: Vital-hood gets a point! Spies get a point.

3. They know the coolest tricks. They always know how to do so much with seemingly so little. Kill a man with two tea bags and waxed paper. Rig a zip line with a belt. Stem the flow of blood while being hurled through space and time!

Ok, that last one may be a product of one too many action films. I lack in this department. I only know how to make an ice pack using a couple of powders and a bit of water.

4. They always get the blows of justice. I believe in credit where credit is due. Good credit or bad credit, if you’ve sown it, then you should reap it. Spend much time around me – it doesn’t even need to be much time; just enough time to watch a good action flick – and you’ll learn that I get really excited about that deserved vengeance. When Padme died? Obviously sad for her, but Anakin deserved it. The bad guy in The Tuxedo who got foiled by his own poisoned water strider? Totally had that coming. Man on Fire? Oh, don’t even get me started.

I don’t get blows of justice, myself. I’m little and remotely compassionate so it gets in the way of really being able to stick it to someone. No, me I have to rely on outclassing someone for vengeance. Being promoted more than twice as fast, receiving a better scholarship, being able to help when no one else could? It’s a moment of justice just by sheer lack of injustice.